Valentine’s Day for teens can be another opportunity to feel unpopular. For adolescents who struggle socially, that can mean watching peers get cards, candy, and even flowers (at school and on social media) while they may get nothing at all. Sadly, I tend to get annoyed when I think my teen is overreacting or being dramatic. What I need to realize is that their lives are immersed with intense feelings and angst. As adults, we are somewhat more balanced with our feelings. “Have empathy for their sadness,” says Dr. Deborah Gilboa, a family physician “Try something like, ‘I see that you are feeling left out and disappointed. I am sad that you are going through that.’” Brushing your adolescent’s feelings aside isn’t helpful (“It’s such a silly holiday!”), but neither is trying to fix those feelings (“I’ll be your Valentine!“). So be there, love them and pray for them. God’s love is bigger than any of this.
