“Sometimes God uses unexpected places to teach us the lessons we need most.”
This week, I turned in my resignation. Even writing those words feels strange.
Leaving my job is bittersweet. I’ve loved the people I’ve worked alongside, and I’ve learned more than I ever imagined. While I’m excited to return to full-time ministry, I realize that ministry isn’t confined to a church building. Ministry happens wherever God places us—in offices, stores, classrooms, neighborhoods, and everyday conversations.
Over the past few years, my workplace became an unexpected classroom.
Working with teenagers and young adults reminded me of something every parent needs to hear.
Kids Need More Than Rules—They Need to Feel Seen
Teenagers can be difficult to read.
They wear headphones. They spend hours in their rooms. They roll their eyes, shrug their shoulders, and often answer with one-word responses. – It can seem like they don’t even want us around.
But underneath the independence, sarcasm, and desire for space is a deep need every child has:
They want to know they matter.
Not by being the center of attention. Not by having every problem solved for them. They simply want someone to notice them. To ask how their day was—and genuinely listen. To celebrate the little victories. To encourage them after they’ve made mistakes. To know someone believes in them, even when they don’t believe in themselves.
Watching young people every day reminded me how hungry they are for encouragement, consistency, and adults who genuinely care. It also reminded me of one conversation I’ll never forget.
The Best Parenting Advice My Mom Ever Gave Me
My mom was wonderful about not giving unsolicited parenting advice. In fact, she rarely offered it unless I asked. Thankfully, I asked a lot.
But one day she looked at me with the honesty only a loving mother can have. At the time, I was pregnant with my third child. I had an almost four-year-old and a two-year-old.
I was exhausted. If you’ve ever had toddlers while pregnant, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
I wasn’t intentionally neglecting discipline—I simply didn’t have the energy. The kids ran wherever they wanted, ignored instructions, and I often found myself thinking, “If everyone survives today, it’s a win.”
Then my mom gently said something that changed my parenting forever.
“Toddlers are the training ground for the teenage years. What you allow now will often repeat itself later. Pull yourself together and start parenting. They need you most during this season of growth and defiance.”
Ouch.
She wasn’t trying to shame me. She was reminding me that parenting isn’t about surviving today. It’s about preparing our children for tomorrow.
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Love and Boundaries Go Together
I’ll be honest. I cried. I prayed. Then I decided things had to change.
Instead of parenting only when behaviors became unbearable, I became intentional. I started setting consistent boundaries and I followed through. I spent more time connecting instead of simply correcting.
Was it perfect? Not even close. But little by little, things changed. Our home became calmer. The kids began responding better. Our relationships grew stronger.
Looking back now, I can see that boundaries weren’t the opposite of love.
They were one of the greatest expressions of love I could give.
Children flourish when they know what is expected and feel secure knowing someone cares enough to guide them.
What I Learned From Today’s Teens
Working with teenagers only confirmed what my mom taught me years ago. Young people still crave adults who notice them. They still need encouragement. They still need accountability. They still need someone who believes they can become the person God created them to be.
Many of the young adults I’ve worked with didn’t need another lecture. They needed someone to ask how they were doing. Someone to celebrate their successes. Someone to remind them they were capable. Someone to simply care.
As parents, we don’t have to be perfect – we just have to be present.
Your Presence Matters More Than Perfection
If you’re in the exhausting toddler years, don’t lose heart. If you’re navigating middle school drama, keep showing up. If your teenager seems distant, don’t stop reaching out.
The little conversations and bedtime prayers.
The family dinners, boundaries and hugs.
The rides to practice and the “I’m proud of you.”
None of these moments are wasted. God uses ordinary faithfulness to shape extraordinary hearts. Parenting isn’t easy, but it is one of the greatest ministries many of us will ever have.
As I begin this new chapter of returning to ministry full time, I carry with me lessons learned from a place I never expected. God has a way of teaching us exactly what we need—sometimes in the most unexpected places.
A Prayer for Parents
Dear God,
Thank You for entrusting us with the incredible gift of raising children. Give us wisdom to know when to lead, patience when we’re exhausted, and grace when we fall short. Help us to love our children well by being present, setting healthy boundaries, and pointing them toward You. May our homes be places where love and truth grow together, and may our children always know they are deeply loved by both us and You. – Amen
Scripture: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” — Proverbs 22:6
