Do you ever feel like you lost your spark and your joy? Parenting is all consuming. Sometimes we lose ourselves. We often feel out of touch and out of balance.
True Rest
One of the best ways we can achieve balance is through true rest. I remember when the kids were little, I was working full time (55 plus hours per week) and getting up at night to feed the baby. I was flat out exhausted. So, I did what any exhausted mom would do after picking up the kids from day care. I set them in front of the TV with a snack, and I lay on the floor. I was there for quite a while. The smile creeping on my lips was only mildly disturbed by the dog licking my face and the toddler crawling over my leg. It was peace in the middle of a mental storm. If I’m completely honest, I’m to blame for this storm. I created it. I fueled it. Eventually, my husband found me there. He kneeled by my side when the floodgates broke. I was exhausted, and the life I had created was too exhausting. It was then that I decided to seek more balance. Determined to discover what balance really meant and how I could make it work in my life.
What is Rest?
Balance includes rest but rest and sleep are not the same thing. Sleep is solely a physical activity. Rest, however, penetrates into the spiritual. Rest is not merely taking a break. Rest is about renewing, recovering, and repairing. You can either honor your need for rest, or surrender to the one-two punch of a mandatory rest.
Types of Rest
Physical rest is both passive (sleep, naps) and active (stretching, breathing exercises, prayer walks). Sleep is required for health. It is not the foundation of rest, but the by-product of rest. Spiritual rest is your faith and relationship with God which affects your ability to feel well rested. Mental rest is the power of strengthening your mind by letting go of those thoughts that are not producing a positive effect in your life. Emotional rest is living and behaving in a way that is consistent with your core values, desires, strengths, and weaknesses. It’s being real about your current state of affairs. Social rest is being around life-giving people and limiting time with negative, demanding ones. Sensory rest is getting away from cell phones, radios, TV, and even our kids. This is why getting out in nature is so restful. Creative rest lets you focus on your basic need for wonder. It’s allowing white space in your life and giving room for your creativity to show up.
Rest and the Quest for Balance
So how do you incorporate rest into your quest for balance? Here are the three steps I took to achieve more balance. It did not happen overnight, but through time and perseverance I became more at peace, with purpose and balance.
Spiritual Rest
First, I got back into my spiritual life. Focusing on spiritual, mental and emotional rest, I found that I needed God more than ever. I devoured books, podcasts and prayer. My husband and I took a faith and finances course that encouraged me and gave me the confidence to quit my job to focus on my family. I knew that in order to live to my values I needed to do this for us. And my husband supported and encouraged the idea.
Balance Priorities
Second, I decided that if my family was truly what was important that I needed to learn some things, like how to cook easy and healthy meals for us all. I taught myself how to keep a schedule and to focus on all our needs. I found supportive friends that were a positive influence. I have days where I turn off my phone and enjoy peace and quiet in my home. Focusing on social, emotional and sensory rest helped me gain confidence and peace.
Creative Rest
Finally, I knew that I needed to have fun. Creative rest is essential and we often cut it first to get all the things done. Not only did I think that I had no time for fun, I was feeling burned out and couldn’t even remember what I liked to do for fun. I sat and wrote everything I ever did that brought me joy. Several things would go on the back burner as they weren’t things my family could do at this stage of life. However, I did come up with a good list of activities that were simple that we could do. I also made what my husband calls a perhaps list. This was all the things I wanted to do. It took a while, several weeks in fact, but it came together. I keep it on the fridge as a reminder that there is still more joy to come.
What Brings You Joy
If you are exhausted, joyless and feeling like you have no purpose then today I want you to think about all the things you once did that brought you joy. List the things you would like to do some day. Then find some small things that you can do as a family. Know that balancing your faith, family and fun will bring you more peace. A balanced mom is a mom at peace.
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