There are moments in life when you drop to your knees — or maybe just go quiet in the middle of a busy day — and you open your mouth to pray, and nothing comes out. Not because you don’t believe there is a God. But maybe you don’t know how to pray. Or it could be the weight of what you’re carrying is so heavy, or the gratitude you feel is so overwhelming, that words just fall short.
I’ve been there. And I want to talk about it.
Prayer isn’t a Performance
I learned to pray when I was a little girl, at a backyard Bible study. One of those summers-in-someone’s-yard kind of things, with folding chairs and cups of lemonade and a woman who loved God enough to share Him with a bunch of neighborhood kids. That’s where I first learned that prayer wasn’t a performance. It wasn’t about having the right words or sounding polished. It was just… talking to God. Telling Him what was on your heart.
That lesson took root in me deeper than I think I ever realized at the time. Prayer became part of who I am. Not just something I do, but something I am. It’s how I process joy and grief. It’s how I start my mornings and close out my nights. It’s how I make decisions and how I find peace when a decision is out of my hands.
And somewhere along the way, it became something I wanted to pass on.
Pray with Honesty
When my kids were small, I started teaching them to pray the same way I learned — not with formulas or scripts, but with honesty. I’d sit with them at bedtime and say, just tell God what’s on your heart, sweet pea. He already knows, but He wants to hear it from you. We’d pray about lost toys and school tests and friends who hurt their feelings. We’d thank God for good days and ask Him to help with hard ones.
Prayer Taking Hold
A while back, during my youngest daughter’s confirmation recognition, our pastor said something in front of the entire congregation that I’ll never forget. He said he noticed — really noticed — that all three of my children knew how to pray. Not just recite something, but pray. He said it like it was remarkable, and it brought tears to my eyes, because it meant that something I had quietly poured into them had taken hold.
That moment reminded me why prayer matters so much. Not just as a spiritual discipline, but as a living, breathing part of who we are and who we raise our children to be.
So what do you do when you want to pray, but the words won’t come?
Here’s what I’ve learned.
Start with Silence
Sometimes the holiest thing you can do is just show up. Sit down, close your eyes, and be present before God without saying a single word. He knows why you’re there. You don’t have to explain it. The act of coming to Him is itself a prayer.
Pray what you Know is True
Even when your feelings are tangled, you can anchor yourself in what you believe. God, I don’t know what to say right now, but I know You are good. I know You see me. I know You haven’t left. Sometimes that’s the whole prayer, and it’s enough.
Let the Groaning be the Prayer
Romans 8:26 says the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with “groans that words cannot express.” That scripture has carried me through some of my hardest seasons. You don’t have to have it together. You don’t have to be articulate. The Spirit takes what’s broken and inarticulate inside you and brings it before God perfectly. Your tears count. Your silence counts. Your groan in the darkness counts.
Use Scripture as Your Voice
The Psalms were written by people who were desperate, confused, joyful, and broken — sometimes all at once. When I don’t have words, I let David’s words be mine. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” There’s something profound about praying the words of someone who has walked through what you’re walking through.
Pray Anywhere, Anytime, Even if it’s Messy
There’s something about praying anywhere, anytime — even just whispering a prayer in your car. Don’t wait until you have the right words. Start talking, and let God meet you in the middle of the sentence.
The Edge of Prayer
I think about that little girl in the backyard, learning that God wanted to hear from her. I think about my own kids, praying without being asked, finding the words on their own. And I think about every person reading this who has stood at the edge of prayer and felt like they had nothing to offer.
You have more than you think. You have your presence. You have your need. You have your faith, even if it’s the size of a mustard seed right now.
That’s always been enough.
Go ahead and pray. Even if you don’t know what to say. Especially if you don’t know what to say.
God isn’t waiting for your eloquence. He’s waiting for you.
Amber Bishop Mornes is the author of The Beginner’s Guide to God and the voice behind Auburn Raven: Balancing Faith, Family & Fun. With a background in psychology, human resources, and ministry, she writes to encourage faith-filled families through honest reflections on parenting, marriage, and everyday life.
Her passion is introducing people to God’s love and biblically equipping parents and teachers so children can grow in faith. Her journey, tips and lessons can be found on her blog www.AuburnRaven.com. You can connect with her on Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook.
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