We Desire to Belong
My kids are always talking about FOMO. Apparently social media has spawned this disorder. “The fear of missing out refers to the feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things.” My kids are very busy. Then they get sick. It is a vicious cycle that is tough to break. When they first started telling me about this “disorder” I realized I did this too when I was a teen. Did I also have FOMO or was I young and didn’t understand setting boundaries?
We Desire to Label
Kids think that something is wrong with them. I cannot figure out why so many kids today think they have every disorder or learning disability out there. Everything is labeled now. Now they have labels to things I think are teen afflictions or immaturity. I believe these labels enhance anxiety in these kids, which of course is another disorder.
Listening to their concerns is important but I also like to express other thoughts and sides to things. Maybe these are real issues in some rare instances but kids today seem to think everyone has these issues.
Disorders Lead to More Disorders
According to the Very Well Mind psychology web site there are new disorders related to FOMO that they are studying.
“Inspired by FOMO, several other related concepts have also emerged:
FOBO (Fear of Better Options): This refers to fearing that you are missing out on potentially better alternatives.
MOMO (Mystery of Missing Out): This refers to fearing that you are missing out but not having any clues about what you’re missing out on.
ROMO: (Reality of Missing Out): This refers to knowing that you aren’t missing out on anything.
FOJI (Fear of Joining In): The fear of sharing things on social media but not garnering any response.
JOMO (Joy of Missing Out): This is the opposite of FOMO and refers to positive feelings about missing out or disconnecting from social media.”
Do you see the ridiculousness of this? Why can’t we teach kids to enjoy life, appreciate others and be in the moment and even unplug?
Unplugging from Social Media Helps
As I assisted my middle child with her college admissions essay, I realized something. Both of my children wrote their college admissions essay about being unplugged and in the wilderness. They actually enjoy being cut off from the stress of social media. Maybe we should teach kids to live life unplugged and set boundaries.
Recently I was at the college parent weekend event with my oldest. Many teens were watching everything through their phones. They were videoing the bonfire while watching their screen. I enjoyed the bonfire and fireworks as much as anyone. I have no photos to share on that because I was actually immersing myself into the experience not trying to capture it to watch later. I used to do that and believe me, you cannot capture that feeling on a small screen. My boundary is to take 3 -4 good photos of the people I am with at the event and then I put my phone away.
Journaling May Help
This is why I recommend journaling. You can write down everything you felt. Describe it all in great detail. Decorate the pages if you wish. Then when you go back to read it later you can reminisce and close your eyes to see it all and feel it too. Photos and videos are great, but don’t let them dominate your life. Be in the moment. Journal later.
Setting Boundaries Helps
My kids do not spend all their time on their phones anymore. They learned to set boundaries and do things without their phones. We encourage our kids to do sports or get jobs where they do not allow phones. We camp frequently in the summer where there is no phone service. There are no phones allowed at the dinner table so that we may talk and enjoy each other’s company. These small steps encourage our kids to set their own boundaries.
It is so sad because in reality all that worry over missing out actually makes them miss out on living in the present. As my son would say “send it” and just be in the moment.