I usually avoid funerals. They are sad, depressing and somber. I try to avoid going to them unless I have to. The reminder that we all have an “end date” honestly scares me. This morning was surreal. I found hope, joy and laughter at my friend’s mom’s funeral. Did you think a funeral could do that? Me either.
Celebrate Life
So my friend said no black, everyone should wear bright fun colors. Her mother was an artist and musician. She was a colorful personality full of love. Her final years were tough because Alzheimer’s disease got her. It is a horrible way to go. I watched my friend struggle with her mother not always recognizing her own daughter. But today was not about that. Today was a celebration of her life.
Finding Meaning
This funeral was positive and inspiring. People read poetry, played her favorite songs on the saxophone and keyboard and there was even a 30 minute video montage. The montage had short clips of her laughing, singing, and saying I love you. There were clips with her children and grandchildren. It really showed the funeral attendees how rich and meaningful her life was.
Grief
Grief is a deeply personal process, and it looks different for everyone. There’s no set timeline or right way to mourn. Some days you may feel okay, and others you may feel like the pain is fresh all over again. This fluctuation is normal. The important thing is to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions come up—whether it’s sadness, anger, confusion, or even moments of relief. Bottling up grief can delay healing.
Don’t Forget
It’s important to remember that healing doesn’t mean forgetting. You can carry the memories of your loved one with you and honor their life in ways that bring you peace. Celebrate their birthday, share special memories with others and write about them. These activities help to remember and celebrate them.
Sense of Purpose
Though it might sound impossible in the midst of raw grief, many people find that loss eventually leads to a deeper sense of purpose or meaning. This doesn’t mean that the loss was necessary or “meant to be,” but rather that over time, it can change the way we view life and the world around us. Some people channel their grief into causes their loved ones cared about, while others find new paths to pursue in life—whether it’s through personal growth, advocacy, or creative expression.
Lifelong Journey
I came out of this funeral inspired. I want strong family bonds just like she had and will continue to pursue and nurture the family bonds I have. This is a lifelong journey and provides deep satisfaction and purpose. My hope is that we all can experience this joy and fulfillment in our own lives.