Being a mother is a journey filled with lifelong lessons. As I look back at all I’ve learned so far, there are 3 things that really stand out from when my daughters were very young.
First, scars heal. When my oldest was young she had a red starburst mark near her eye. People would ask how she hurt her eye or what she walked into or who popped her in the eye. It wasn’t funny and I really started to get annoyed over the years. I asked the doctor at every visit what we could do. She said it would go away on its own by the time she was 12. Right, it will go away on it’s own by age 12. So, I learned to ignore it and she learned how to answer the questions without feeling sad. One day we were just hanging out at the park and I noticed it was gone. I am not sure when it went away or why I even noticed it was gone. Over time you learn to adapt and work through things. Scars really do heal. The pain may never completely go away but you adapt and move forward.
Second, be yourself. My middle child loved Lightning McQueen from the Disney movie Cars. I bought her several t-shirts that lit up when you moved. She loved them and wanted to wear one to pre-school. Sadly, she was concerned that the kids would make fun of her. They were “boy” T-shirts. I told her to put it on and put another shirt over the top. When she got to school, she could decide. I explained to her teacher and we went to the restroom to decide. She spent what seemed like forever trying to gain the courage to just wear that shirt. Finally, she took the overshirt off and went to the classroom. After preschool I asked how it went. She said the girl who always wears dresses (and tells everyone else they should too) told her she liked her shirt. I was relieved and glad she wore what she wanted. Many years later she ended up on a competitive cheer team with that girl they got along great and even laughed about the incident.
Third, stop and smell the roses. My youngest daughter was really slow on our family hike and was struggling to keep up with the rest of us. I gave her my phone and told her to take photos on the hike to help her focus on something rather then how tired she was. We had great views of the valley and mountains in the distance. When we stopped for a water break, I looked at the photos. She was taking pictures of rocks, bugs and sticks on the trail. She was looking at the present. I was looking out to the future across the valley and into what could be. She was so excited about a photo of a pinecone with a bug on it. “Look at him crawling!” She exclaimed. That day I learned to slow down and be more in the present. Life isn’t a race but more of a journey. I need to enjoy the right now for we have no idea what the future brings.