Have you seen marriages fail right after the kids move out? I have. My parents split when my youngest sibling went to college. It doesn’t happen overnight; it takes years to get to this point. So how can I work on my marriage when I am so busy with work, raising kids and am flat out exhausted?
After they are grown and gone, my husband and I will be here together – alone. For some of my friends it seems scary. They feel distant from their partner now and wonder if they will make it after the kids grow up. There are things you can do now to ease that anxiety and help build your relationship.
Recently I had a glimpse at the empty nest. I have 2 teens in high school and 1 in college. In June my husband and I had 4 days without kids. At first it was weird, then it was wonderful! We hiked (at our own pace), went to dinner (without interruptions) and hung out around the campfire (in a relaxed fashion). Marriage is really a partnership and journey and it takes effort.
Here are 3 Things You Can Do Now to Keep your Marriage Strong
Handle Conflict with Patience and Forgiveness
Remember that conflict is inevitable in a marital relationship, but this does not mean that you are not a good husband or wife. It simply means that you are currently dealing with a normal part of married life. Instead of avoiding problems and conflicts, you should adopt a collaborative, problem-solving mindset to ensure you are always ready to resolve conflicts when they come up. To keep your relationship strong, don’t let conflict take root in your marriage, address it as soon as possible.
Don’t Take Your Spouse for Granted
Think back to what brought you together in the first place? Often times we neglect our spouses and do not express our appreciation. How often do I use the words, thank you, I appreciate you? When was the last time I sent a special card or came home early to do chores so my spouse could take a break? If you notice the little things, they will actually try harder.
Keep It Fresh
Many marriages are dull. Try to find new things you may have in common. Start a new hobby together. Learn a new card game. Take a walk together so you can chat or laugh. Make dinner together. It is important to keep the relationship alive. Studies even show that couples who spend time together relaxing before bed actually sleep better through the night.
It is not the big things in life that make the biggest difference. It is the small things that make it clear we appreciate and care for our spouse.
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Men need to be respected. Women need to feel loved. Remember, you are a team. Work together through thick and thin. And believe me, times can get tough. It is nice to have someone there who really gets you.